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Ryan Sears as Ratso, Cheryl Burke as Svetlana Tickov, Butch Maxwell as Indiana Smith, Gretchen Schneider as Amelia Darehart and Bert Furioli as Sir Harry Proctor-Gamble-Smythe.

The Time: 1949
The Place: Opens in the South American jungles.

The Characters
Indiana Smith is an acclaimed archeologist, adventurer and professor. He made it his mission to find all of the greatest antiquities of the world and take them to where they really belong – a museum – far away from the places where they were created.

Sir Harry Proctor-Gamble-Smythe is an English aristocrat and safari enthusiast who is hampered by the poorest sense of direction in the world.  At the start of World War I, he lost his way and accidentally enlisted as an officer in enemy's army. His leadership was so incompetent, it brought down the Ottoman Empire.

Amelia Darehart is a renown aviation expert and adventurer. The famous female flyer briefly had a liaison with Indiana Smith. It didn't end well.

Svetlana Tickov won the 1936 Olympic bronze medal in weight-lifting, the silver medal in marathon torture and the gold medal in vodka-drinking. During the war, she joined the KGB, where she developed a knack for gathering antiquities – by stealing them.

Ratso is intensely loyal, masochistic and stupid. He has worked for Svetlana Tickov ever since he lost his job in the bell tower at Notre Dame University.

Svetlana Tickov Amelia Darehart

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Last updated: January 9, 2013