Former Wedding Band Singer Strikes It Rich !
(Wheeling) Tammy Cash, an out-of-work wedding band and lounge singer, won't be looking for a new gig anytime soon. Not after having won $65 million in the West Virginia Lottery.
"I'm stupified," Cash said, although some would argue that she was already stupid. When asked what she was going to do with the money, she replied "I'm going to Dizzy World!" Now one of the richest women in the tn-state area, she is enjoying her new-found wealth, but she has not lost touch with her roots. She has them retouched monthly at the Perm 'n Squirm.
She is considering investing some of her fortune into developing a new fast food franchise: the world's first drive-through specializing in road kill. Hoping to cash in on Tammy's newfound wealth, Oglebay Institute quickly invited her to their Diamond Dedication Ceremony. Noting that Cash, a NASCAR enthusiast and former local bowling champ, is "a little unrefined, she is clean."
The Institute is naturally hoping for her patronage. Especially if it can be in absentia. While on the Mansion Museum tour she's looking for new decorating ideas. She is considering going all mirror tiles in her dining room; she thinks it will go nicely with the plastic seat covers on her furniture.
The Oglebay Curse ~
While some deny it as a ghost story - legend has it that the Oglebay Curse long ago led to the mysterious disappearance of the Oglebay Diamond, the untimely death of the Good Zoo's Oglebay Bohemian Yak and the extreme curviness of Route 88. The rumor is it that the Oglebay Curse assured that the Oglebay Diamond would never be properly displayed. The Curse was placed directly on the Diamond when the disgruntled former owner accused Peter Waddington Goodzoo of cheating to win it in a game of chance.
Below, from the local telephone directory:
DETECTIVE AGENCIES
AAA Detective Agency...........................................800-879-4567
Wheeling’s Top Detective Agency
Another Detective Agency.....................................304-555-1212
One of Wheeling’s Top Detective Firms
A Third Detective Agency......................................740-987-3214
Wheeling’s next-to-the-next-to-the best!
Always Underfoot Detective Services..........................231-9876
The divorce surveillance specialists
Big Bad Detectives Inc....................................................438-7654
“We’re no worse than anyone else”
Elliot Brick........................................................................242-7828
“An Eye So Private Most People Haven’t Even Seen Me”
DIAMOND BROKERS
McGuffin Crystal Glass....................................................897-7654
Disclaimer: On this and other pages about this show, all information given about Oglebay Park and Oglebay Institute have little, if any, basis in truth and are, in fact, outright lies perpretrated here in a misguided attempt at entertainment. Any similarity to any real person or event or nonprofit organization is strictly a figment of your humorless imagination.
